we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
