So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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