evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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