u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
