I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
