I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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