it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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