an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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