Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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