I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize