She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
