i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
