I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize