Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
