oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
