none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
