Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
