i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
