I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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