My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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