After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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