Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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