youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
