Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
