Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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