Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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