Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
