Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize