Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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