does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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