Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
