I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
