Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
