Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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