i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We were destined to go to rehab together
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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