I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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