my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
