not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do vagina's smell?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize