i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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