Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
