so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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