This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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