is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i've created a new STD.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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