she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize