pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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