Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
