I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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