i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
