dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
