Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
this just has baby written all over it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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