I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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