She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
