is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Welp...herpes.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
