I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
