I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
