yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
