shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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