I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
