Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
