Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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