lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
