The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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