He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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